If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize