He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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