What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
