I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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