I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
