How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
