At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize