woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
