So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
