so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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