check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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