He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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