Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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