So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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