last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize