Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
