the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We got so high we made milksteak
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
