some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
