i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
