Sry I called you an 8
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Randomize
