No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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