At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
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