idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
