Don't make out with my wife yet
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
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