i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
