in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
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