honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
