Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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