everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize