This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
