I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
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Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
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DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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