dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
