Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
time to smoke my breakfast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
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