I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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