the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
