Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize