guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
