After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
