I think scott just propositioned me for sex
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
