Dual....:-)
Having a random hookup so left but love u
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
