Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
