Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
someone owes me an orgasm
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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