She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
