Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
