I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
