All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
home. puking in laundry basket.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
