i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
