She announced her abortion via fbk
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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