yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
