So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
