atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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