No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
