Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
this will be a night to untag.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
