Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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