Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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