I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I have tasted many bathrooms
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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