maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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